TMG Wedding Customs and Rituals.

                                                         Sri Lakshmi Venkatesha Prasanna.

          Tanjore Marathi Desastha weddings are ritualistic. The rituals are common to both to Madhwas and Smarthas. ( According to Late Shri Krishna Murthy Sharma  of Chennai.)
         Once the  Marriage has been fixed and all the matters have been discussed and settled, both the boy and girls party have to find a  good day ,and have a  ceremony in their own houses, called Halkund Tenchna. ( In Kannada it Arshana Kuttodhu.)
(Savashni means suhaagan, muthaiyade)

 HALKUND THENCHNA ( ARSHINA KUTTODHU)

The things needed for this function are as follows....
For this  function, the things that have to  be ready are ----Haldhi Kum Kum,  Flowers, Haldhi sticks  about 1/4 kg, Vedach Pan Supari , (Betel leaves and Supari), Geja Vastra for the Ganesh,Arathi plate with lamps with wicks soaked in ghee or oil,  and Kelas(bananas)  and Jaggery.
You will also need a  Vatach Dhonda and Varavanta , that is  is a Rolling stone and pounding stone to  smash the halkund  by the  Savshnis. And two lamps with wick and ghee.

What to do on this day?
On a specified good day, the  girl/boy are made to take oil bath. At least five Savashnis(Muthaiyade)  are invited.

 In Haldhi powder make a Ganesha , ie  mix  Haldhi Powder in water and make a cone, apply kunku and put this cone on Vedach pan( betel leaf)  with stem removed.  Select a place  where there will be no breeze,  as the lamps have to be lighted and also arathi.  On a plank keep the  Haldhi Ganesh.  Spread a  Jamkhana/Champa( Mat)  for the ladies to sit.

     If the Halkund tenchna is in the Grooms house, the boy should wear a dhothi and angavastra, do Sandhya, before the start of Ganesh puja.
   If it is in the bride's house, the Bride should be dressed in a Saree,  wear flowers in her hair and should have applied Kunku on her forehead  and wear bangles. She should perform puja to Tulasi Brindhavan, a must.

 Now make the, to-be  Bride/Groom  sit in front of the Ganesh and perform Puja to the Ganesh  with Haldhi Kunku, Geja Vastra and Flowers. Offer naividya Kela( Banana)  or Jaggery. Then do Namaskar to Ganesha. Next, the mother and the Savashnis also perform puja to the Ganesh.
Then, one by one, the Five sticks of Haldhi ( Halkund) each has to be  made  into pieces, by pounding it with the Varavanta on the Vatach dhonda. This has to be done by all the five ladies and the mother of the girl too.

 After this all the Savashni are given Haldhi kunku, flowers, Vidach Pan supari , wit a banana or any fruit and coconut and a choli  . If possible, it is also good to offer them a lunch or food with Kheer.

What to do with the powdered haldhi and the haldhi Ganesh?
The pieces of haldhi should be powdered with rice and kept for later use . The Haldhi Ganesha is Kept in gods room and worshiped everyday till the wedding is over.
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 THIS IS THE FIRST STEP TO A WEDDING.

 Prior to this function, none of the bridal or groom purchases are made.
  After this Halkund Thenchna,   the Purchase of the Mangalya Bottu, Sarees   and  Clothes  for the  wedding can commence.

After this above small ceremony,  the Girl/bride should wear at least a single gold bangle and a small bindi on the forehead.
The new trend is to say this is all superstition.This is not so, all our customs are to usher in positive energy in  today’s language.

Purchase of Mangalaya Bottu or Mangal Sutra:
 The Manglya /Bottu should  be purchased on a  good day and time. NEVER ON SATURDAY and TUESDAY.
  
 Wedding Invitations:
  Wedding Invitations are also to be given for printing after the Halkund Tenchna.
 The Invitation  should, at the  top most have, gods name ie Lakshmi Venkatesha Prasanna or Lakshmi Narasimha Prasanna  or the particular family deity . As far as possible, the  invitations should have at the beginning or end  with the blessing of  parents or any one older or elder brother as the case may be . This is the tradition.
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THE WEDDING PLANNING

     In preparation to a Wedding , a lot of planning has to go into it.  First, of course is fixing the Choultry/marriage hall.

 Make a list of off all the things to be purchased and another list for all the works to  be done , like fixing the  cooks/catering,  Vajanthri (Nadhaswaram), Flowers, Photographer and the like.

 Make a list  of the gifts that have to be given to the Bride or groom , Sarees  and Jewels to be bought etc.

Then make a budget. Make a note of each and every thing,and after getting the final  figure, add 10% extra for any expense which would have been overlooked and increase in costs.

 Have a meeting with your Purohith/pundit performing the wedding and chart out all  functions, and the materials and things needed.
After getting ready the things and all the purchases are done, pack the things separately for each occasion in a cardboard  box . This way your work load at the wedding hall will be reduced as you will exactly know  what is where.
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     MANDAV----HANDARA and MANGO LEAVES THORAN

    No matter where one lives, before  the  Devach Samardhana,  the MANDAV is to erected in front of the house and also at the venue of the wedding.

How should this be done?
Put a plantain tree on each side of the frontage of the house. Tie mango leaves Thoran across  the threshhold on top.
Now the Mandav is erected with four pillars of Bamboo. and decorated festively. This is also called Pandal.

Meaning behind erecting the Mandav:
 Apart from giving the venue a festive look, it is said that there are a devatha for each pillar and above. Therefore,  there is meaning in erecting the MANDAV.
In the East pillar resides Lord Indra ;In the South pillar  resides  Lord Yama ;In the West pillar resides Lord Varuna ;In the North  pillar lives Lord Kubera , and above  reside Dwija and Adhithi.

 Before the start of the festivities Puja has to be performed to all the pillars inviting the   Devathas . By doing this ,we seek the protection and the blessing of these devathas  for the wedding to go off well. The officiating priest will  instruct the correct procedure for this puja.

Mango leaves thoran is tied   on the threshold and also around the Wedding Mantap. Both Mango leaves and Plantain trees is said to purify the air where  so many people gather and breathe the air.
 I dont know if this is scientifically correct.
Mango leaves are also known to absorb negative energy and are therefore used.
Banana trees, besides being a symbol of prosperity are evergreen.


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The Wedding Ceremony -- the first Day.

DEVACH SAMARDHANA  CAN BE HELD AT HOME A FEW DAYS BEFORE  THE WEDDING DAY.
These days it is being held at the marriage venue because of constraint in space and other facility. It is more practical to do so. Devach Samardhana, Nandhi and the Navri Karna are  all on the morning of the first day of the two days of wedding celebrations.

                                     FIRST  DAY. MORNING SESSION.

YENNE SHASTRA

On the morning of Devach Samardhana, the Navra or Navri and the parents should be made to sit on a champa/MAT with another child, so as to make four for the  Arathi.
Kunku should be applied by the eldest Savashni or who ever is available, The Navri and mother should be given haldhi kunku. Then with a flower TIL oil is applied to all the four. Then Arathi is done by two ladies. After  this they can have their bath.  
THIS SAME PROCEDURE IS DONE ON THE DAY OF MARRIAGE ALSO.


  DEVACH SMARDHANA /DEV DHEK
This heralds the commencement of the wedding ceremony by first propitiating the gods.
DURING ALL THE FUNCTIONS ONLY SWEET SMELLING FLOWERS ARE TO USED.
ONLY MALLI , ROSE,SEVANTHI AND SUCH HAVE TO USED.

  Devach Samardhana is Puja with abisheka, Panch amrutha abhisheka to the family deity and any specified puja/arathi etc as per every individual family customs are performed. All the relations and friends are invited for this function.

 Rangoli  and Mango leaves for 40 days:
 From the day of Devach Samardhana,   Rangoli with the  powdered Haldhi/Rice flour (this is also referred to as SIGSA powder) is used for all functions and doorstep of the house and the Kalyana mantapa.
In the house, Rangoli with this haldhi and rice flour should be drawn for 40 days starting from Devach Samardhana.
The mango leaves tied to the thresh hold should also remain for 40 days.

 For the Devach Samardhana  things needed will be   Haldhi Kunku, Wheat, Rice, Flowers, Coconuts, Bananas,Haldhi Sticks Choli Peices, dhakshina
  If available  Zantha in Marathi or Biso kallu in Kananada has to be got. If this is not available, a small Pestle and mortar in  stone or Brass can be used.

How to perform Devera Samrdhana or Dev Dhek?

 To the Zantha or pestle apply Chuna ( limestone) and geru( red stone clay) , Haldhi and Kunku and a flower.
 At a good time, keep the Zantha in the proper place and have the Bride/groom  and the  mother and the Savshnis  all sit on a mat .
The mother  and the to-be married girl/boy  do puja to the Zantha,.
Wheat is put in the Mothers Vonti ( front padhar of the saree) and a ring or any gold  item is  put in the wheat.

The boy or Girl  have to search for the jewel while the ladies around will ask, " What did you find ( Thula Kai Milla)".
This is repeated three times.

The first  time the boy/girl have to reply, "Mala Sona Sarka Navra/navri Milli" ( I found a groom/bride who is like Gold)

The second time  the bride or groom will say, "Mala Vajra Sarka Navra/navri Milli" ( I found a bride/groom  who is like Diamond)

The third time they would say, "Mala  Vaiduria Sarka navri  or navara milla" (I found a bride/groom like the Lapizlazuli)

 After this the wheat is to be put in the Zantha and ground  by the Navra/Navri and the mother and the Savashnis available. It is ground and made into Rava which is used for the Kheer on that day ie Devach Samardhana.
 In case Zantha is not available, symbolically, put the wheat in a mortar and pestle and  pound it a few times and then use the Mixi to make Rava. This is to be given to the cook to make the Kheer.

NAVRI KARNA.

 The next function is Navri Karna... or Making of the Bride.

 

How is this function performed?

  For this,  the girl  is presented with a new Saree  and  green glass bangles are put on her hands.
Five Bangles are put in her left hand and  Seven bangles on the right hand . These are put on the by the girls Mother. THESE BANGLES SHOULD BE WORN FOR A MONTH. These days it is removed in the evening in the name of fashion and the  BEAUTY PARLOR Lady tells the girl that this not matching her RECEPTION DRESS. PLEASE do not do this and keep it on the hands for at least eight day.

We Indians should no doubt go with the times,  at the same time we should also NOT  forget our  traditions and customs.
 At this time all the Savashnis are  given bangles.

    After this all the Savashinis present have to be  given Haldhi Kunku flower Vidach pan supari and Vonti Barana or udi thumbodhu.
  Deverasamardhana menu should include Kadi Pitla, Ambode Poli  etc and everybody has to be given Jevalthe Dhakshina.

  NANDHI.   

Nandhi is  the function when the ancestors are invited to witness and bless  the marriage couple. They are invited  by the Mantra,  recited by the Purohiths.
 Till some years ago,  Nandhi and Devach Samardhana were on separate days  as God and Ancestors cannot be  combined . Secondly , some very orthodox people  would not eat  the Nandhi meal as they were not their Ancestors. Things have changed now with  both functions being done together and  the ancestors  being offered  coconut and fruits instead of   food.

The Nandhi Function is  conducted by the Priests and Purohiths and so i will only give the list of material to be got ready.
    Haldhi Kunku 2 Nos-- Soop/ Mora, 5 nos Choli Peices,  2 Nos Panchatra, 2  Nos Coconuts, Kela fruit, Vidach Pan Supari,  One pair Dhothie and  One 9yds Saree and Choli.

  PAADHA PUJA  

Padha puja is performed to Parents, Grand Parents and elders in the family. In most families, the ahyaar, or gifts are also given to them at this time after the padha puja. the bride or groom and their respective parents do namaskar and seek the blessings of these elders after the padha puja.



                         Wedding First Day -- Evening Session

                             MOOL PHANA /  HUDUGI NODODHU.

  Mool phana means " Seeing the Girl/Bride" 
 

  For this function, a time is fixed and the boys/groom's party are invited to come see the girl.

This is a beautiful function with all the ladies and men decked up in colorful fine clothes and jewellery.

 The  Bride is to be dressed in finery with her hair plaited with flowers and with the  jewels for the head and Jewelry and  Bangles and a fine zari saree. The green glass bangles  should not be removed. Wear the matching bangles over the green bangles.
Select a proper place and put a plank MANE/PHAT which is covered with decorative cloth.
After all the ladies and guests have gathered , bring  the Bride and make her sit. With her must sit her sister or someone close just behind her, in case she needs something.
  At  this point the mother of the Bride groom will come and sit on the right side of the bride, facing her.
She will then instruct the bride to do Ganesh puja.
After the puja, she will  apply Haldhi kunku to the bride and give her two saris.   One saree to wear  and the other one to cover her shoulders.
At this point, the bride has to wear the sari and come back and sit on the mane.

The  mother of the groom will then symbolically apply Haldhi Kunku, put some flowers in her hair, and may give her a Jewel, as the case may be.
Some cosmetics which is called Alankarach Saaman is also given along with personal gifts like jewelry and perfumes.
 Usually trays with fruits, coconuts, decorated dolls, sugar moulds. dry coconut on which designs have been carved etc are also given.
In fact, all the ladies from the grooms party will each hold a tray of fruits, dry fruits, sakkare acchu, decorative dolls and artistic things and bring them ceremoniously to the bride.
Finally, the groom's mother will put milk and banana in the bride's palm three times and she will drink it.  After which the  ceremony is over the bride goes inside.


                                        VAK NISCHAYA  (ENGAGEMENT)


   For this both the parents of the groom and the bride are made to sit  beside, each othe.
The Purohith keeps two Kalashs in front of them and reciting Mantras, he will make both the parents perform puja to the kalash.
Then the priest will  read the already prepared agreement between the two parents, which will be signed by the fathers. (This   agreement will give details  of the the family like grand son/grand daughter of  so and so,  son/daughter of so and so   have agreed for this marriage  on this date etc)


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                                              JHANVASA


     Jhanvasa is another clorful grand function where all are decked up.
Here, the groom  is made to sit on a decorated Jamkhana or mat.

The bride's parents will also sit beside him and  Ganesh Puja is performed.

Then the bride's mother will apply Kunku on the groom and the bride's father will apply Gandh( Sandal paste) on him and present him with  Clothes , Wrist watch and  whatever gift the wish to give the groom.

 The Boy wears the new clothes and comes back to sit. He is then garlanded  and given some sugar moulds,  decorated dry coconut,fruits and coconut will be presented. The girls mother will  put milk and banana in the palm of the groom which he has to drink  three times. Some years ago the boy used to be taken in procession   to a nearby Temple, (this custom may be  in olden days, The places being small , and every one knew the other will enable the people to see the groom. (This is purely my guess!)

                                               
                                      Jhnavasach  Jhevna

 After all this is the Jhnavasach  Jhevna. A ceremonial dinner for the groom.
   In a specified place five Plantain leaves are spread and a silver plate is placed. Around the front portion of the leaves, an elaborate rangoli is drawn with colours. Candles or lights decorate the surroundings of the 5 plantain leaves. A Sami ( Tall silver lamps) are placed on either side of the leaf.
Silver cups and Silver plate is kept on the leaves. And festive food is served in these.
 In addition to the Festival food , five kinds of sweets like Chiroti, Semia Pheni, Sweet Somasa, Poli, and Laddu will be served and Semia Kheer. Before the boy starts to eat the Mother of the bride will serve the ghee. and at the end instead of curds, milk and sugar will be served. Before the boy gets up after eating,  Arathi will be taken.

 With this function the first day  celebrations are over.

  After all the evening functions and dinner is over  the GARSOLI ----MANGALASUTRA has  to be got ready. Use TWINE ONLY . Take about 18 inches twine and dye it  yellow with Haldhi and water.
 Sread the Black beeads on a plate and arrange the  Bottu and the gold beeads as it is wanted to be woven on the twine, select the black beads which have holes in which the twine can be woven. (this has to be kept in mind while buying the Beads.)
  Five elderly SAvashnis --Sumangalis are called   the Bottu and the gold beads are woven then the mother of the girl and the boy  string five beads each then the other  ladies five each this is done for both the   MANGALYAS and kept for the next days function. All the ladies should be given Kunku after the they have  finshed.