Sri Lakshmi Venkatesha Prasanna.
Tanjore Marathi Desastha weddings are ritualistic. The rituals are common to both to Madhwas and Smarthas. ( According to Late Shri Krishna Murthy Sharma of Chennai.)
Once the Marriage has been fixed and all the matters have been discussed and settled, both the boy and girls party have to find a good day ,and have a ceremony in their own houses, called Halkund Tenchna. ( In Kannada it Arshana Kuttodhu.)
(Savashni means suhaagan, muthaiyade)
HALKUND THENCHNA ( ARSHINA KUTTODHU)
The things needed for this function are as follows....
For this function, the things that have to be ready are ----Haldhi Kum Kum, Flowers, Haldhi sticks about 1/4 kg, Vedach Pan Supari , (Betel leaves and Supari), Geja Vastra for the Ganesh,Arathi plate with lamps with wicks soaked in ghee or oil, and Kelas(bananas) and Jaggery.
You will also need a Vatach Dhonda and Varavanta , that is is a Rolling stone and pounding stone to smash the halkund by the Savshnis. And two lamps with wick and ghee.
What to do on this day?
On a specified good day, the girl/boy are made to take oil bath. At least five Savashnis(Muthaiyade) are invited.
In Haldhi powder make a Ganesha , ie mix Haldhi Powder in water and make a cone, apply kunku and put this cone on Vedach pan( betel leaf) with stem removed. Select a place where there will be no breeze, as the lamps have to be lighted and also arathi. On a plank keep the Haldhi Ganesh. Spread a Jamkhana/Champa( Mat) for the ladies to sit.
If the Halkund tenchna is in the Grooms house, the boy should wear a dhothi and angavastra, do Sandhya, before the start of Ganesh puja.
If it is in the bride's house, the Bride should be dressed in a Saree, wear flowers in her hair and should have applied Kunku on her forehead and wear bangles. She should perform puja to Tulasi Brindhavan, a must.
Now make the, to-be Bride/Groom sit in front of the Ganesh and perform Puja to the Ganesh with Haldhi Kunku, Geja Vastra and Flowers. Offer naividya Kela( Banana) or Jaggery. Then do Namaskar to Ganesha. Next, the mother and the Savashnis also perform puja to the Ganesh.
Then, one by one, the Five sticks of Haldhi ( Halkund) each has to be made into pieces, by pounding it with the Varavanta on the Vatach dhonda. This has to be done by all the five ladies and the mother of the girl too.
After this all the Savashni are given Haldhi kunku, flowers, Vidach Pan supari , wit a banana or any fruit and coconut and a choli . If possible, it is also good to offer them a lunch or food with Kheer.
What to do with the powdered haldhi and the haldhi Ganesh?
The pieces of haldhi should be powdered with rice and kept for later use . The Haldhi Ganesha is Kept in gods room and worshiped everyday till the wedding is over.
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THIS IS THE FIRST STEP TO A WEDDING.
Prior to this function, none of the bridal or groom purchases are made.
After this Halkund Thenchna, the Purchase of the Mangalya Bottu, Sarees and Clothes for the wedding can commence.
After this above small ceremony, the Girl/bride should wear at least a single gold bangle and a small bindi on the forehead.
The new trend is to say this is all superstition.This is not so, all our customs are to usher in positive energy in today’s language.
Purchase of Mangalaya Bottu or Mangal Sutra:
The Manglya /Bottu should be purchased on a good day and time. NEVER ON SATURDAY and TUESDAY.
Wedding Invitations:
Wedding Invitations are also to be given for printing after the Halkund Tenchna.
The Invitation should, at the top most have, gods name ie Lakshmi Venkatesha Prasanna or Lakshmi Narasimha Prasanna or the particular family deity . As far as possible, the invitations should have at the beginning or end with the blessing of parents or any one older or elder brother as the case may be . This is the tradition.
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THE WEDDING PLANNING
In preparation to a Wedding , a lot of planning has to go into it. First, of course is fixing the Choultry/marriage hall.
Make a list of off all the things to be purchased and another list for all the works to be done , like fixing the cooks/catering, Vajanthri (Nadhaswaram), Flowers, Photographer and the like.
Make a list of the gifts that have to be given to the Bride or groom , Sarees and Jewels to be bought etc.
Then make a budget. Make a note of each and every thing,and after getting the final figure, add 10% extra for any expense which would have been overlooked and increase in costs.
Have a meeting with your Purohith/pundit performing the wedding and chart out all functions, and the materials and things needed.
After getting ready the things and all the purchases are done, pack the things separately for each occasion in a cardboard box . This way your work load at the wedding hall will be reduced as you will exactly know what is where.
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MANDAV----HANDARA and MANGO LEAVES THORAN
How should this be done?
Put a plantain tree on each side of the frontage of the house. Tie mango leaves Thoran across the threshhold on top.
Now the Mandav is erected with four pillars of Bamboo. and decorated festively. This is also called Pandal.
Meaning behind erecting the Mandav:
Apart from giving the venue a festive look, it is said that there are a devatha for each pillar and above. Therefore, there is meaning in erecting the MANDAV.
In the East pillar resides Lord Indra ;In the South pillar resides Lord Yama ;In the West pillar resides Lord Varuna ;In the North pillar lives Lord Kubera , and above reside Dwija and Adhithi.
Before the start of the festivities Puja has to be performed to all the pillars inviting the Devathas . By doing this ,we seek the protection and the blessing of these devathas for the wedding to go off well. The officiating priest will instruct the correct procedure for this puja.
Mango leaves thoran is tied on the threshold and also around the Wedding Mantap. Both Mango leaves and Plantain trees is said to purify the air where so many people gather and breathe the air.
I dont know if this is scientifically correct.
Mango leaves are also known to absorb negative energy and are therefore used.
Banana trees, besides being a symbol of prosperity are evergreen.
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The Wedding Ceremony -- the first Day.
DEVACH SAMARDHANA CAN BE HELD AT HOME A FEW DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING DAY.
These days it is being held at the marriage venue because of constraint in space and other facility. It is more practical to do so. Devach Samardhana, Nandhi and the Navri Karna are all on the morning of the first day of the two days of wedding celebrations.
FIRST DAY. MORNING SESSION.
YENNE SHASTRA
On the morning of Devach Samardhana, the Navra or Navri and the parents should be made to sit on a champa/MAT with another child, so as to make four for the Arathi.
Kunku should be applied by the eldest Savashni or who ever is available, The Navri and mother should be given haldhi kunku. Then with a flower TIL oil is applied to all the four. Then Arathi is done by two ladies. After this they can have their bath.
THIS SAME PROCEDURE IS DONE ON THE DAY OF MARRIAGE ALSO.
DEVACH SMARDHANA /DEV DHEK
This heralds the commencement of the wedding ceremony by first propitiating the gods.
DURING ALL THE FUNCTIONS ONLY SWEET SMELLING FLOWERS ARE TO USED.
ONLY MALLI , ROSE,SEVANTHI AND SUCH HAVE TO USED.
Devach Samardhana is Puja with abisheka, Panch amrutha abhisheka to the family deity and any specified puja/arathi etc as per every individual family customs are performed. All the relations and friends are invited for this function.
Rangoli and Mango leaves for 40 days:
From the day of Devach Samardhana, Rangoli with the powdered Haldhi/Rice flour (this is also referred to as SIGSA powder) is used for all functions and doorstep of the house and the Kalyana mantapa.
In the house, Rangoli with this haldhi and rice flour should be drawn for 40 days starting from Devach Samardhana.
The mango leaves tied to the thresh hold should also remain for 40 days.
For the Devach Samardhana things needed will be Haldhi Kunku, Wheat, Rice, Flowers, Coconuts, Bananas,Haldhi Sticks Choli Peices, dhakshina
If available Zantha in Marathi or Biso kallu in Kananada has to be got. If this is not available, a small Pestle and mortar in stone or Brass can be used.
How to perform Devera Samrdhana or Dev Dhek?
To the Zantha or pestle apply Chuna ( limestone) and geru( red stone clay) , Haldhi and Kunku and a flower.
At a good time, keep the Zantha in the proper place and have the Bride/groom and the mother and the Savshnis all sit on a mat .
The mother and the to-be married girl/boy do puja to the Zantha,.
Wheat is put in the Mothers Vonti ( front padhar of the saree) and a ring or any gold item is put in the wheat.
The boy or Girl have to search for the jewel while the ladies around will ask, " What did you find ( Thula Kai Milla)".
This is repeated three times.
The first time the boy/girl have to reply, "Mala Sona Sarka Navra/navri Milli" ( I found a groom/bride who is like Gold)
The second time the bride or groom will say, "Mala Vajra Sarka Navra/navri Milli" ( I found a bride/groom who is like Diamond)
The third time they would say, "Mala Vaiduria Sarka navri or navara milla" (I found a bride/groom like the Lapizlazuli)
After this the wheat is to be put in the Zantha and ground by the Navra/Navri and the mother and the Savashnis available. It is ground and made into Rava which is used for the Kheer on that day ie Devach Samardhana.
In case Zantha is not available, symbolically, put the wheat in a mortar and pestle and pound it a few times and then use the Mixi to make Rava. This is to be given to the cook to make the Kheer.
NAVRI KARNA.
The next function is Navri Karna... or Making of the Bride.
How is this function performed?
For this, the girl is presented with a new Saree and green glass bangles are put on her hands.Five Bangles are put in her left hand and Seven bangles on the right hand . These are put on the by the girls Mother. THESE BANGLES SHOULD BE WORN FOR A MONTH. These days it is removed in the evening in the name of fashion and the BEAUTY PARLOR Lady tells the girl that this not matching her RECEPTION DRESS. PLEASE do not do this and keep it on the hands for at least eight day.
We Indians should no doubt go with the times, at the same time we should also NOT forget our traditions and customs.
At this time all the Savashnis are given bangles.
After this all the Savashinis present have to be given Haldhi Kunku flower Vidach pan supari and Vonti Barana or udi thumbodhu.
Deverasamardhana menu should include Kadi Pitla, Ambode Poli etc and everybody has to be given Jevalthe Dhakshina.
NANDHI.
Nandhi is the function when the ancestors are invited to witness and bless the marriage couple. They are invited by the Mantra, recited by the Purohiths.
Till some years ago, Nandhi and Devach Samardhana were on separate days as God and Ancestors cannot be combined . Secondly , some very orthodox people would not eat the Nandhi meal as they were not their Ancestors. Things have changed now with both functions being done together and the ancestors being offered coconut and fruits instead of food.
The Nandhi Function is conducted by the Priests and Purohiths and so i will only give the list of material to be got ready.
Haldhi Kunku 2 Nos-- Soop/ Mora, 5 nos Choli Peices, 2 Nos Panchatra, 2 Nos Coconuts, Kela fruit, Vidach Pan Supari, One pair Dhothie and One 9yds Saree and Choli.
PAADHA PUJA
Padha puja is performed to Parents, Grand Parents and elders in the family. In most families, the ahyaar, or gifts are also given to them at this time after the padha puja. the bride or groom and their respective parents do namaskar and seek the blessings of these elders after the padha puja.
Wedding First Day -- Evening Session
MOOL PHANA / HUDUGI NODODHU.
Mool phana means " Seeing the Girl/Bride"
For this function, a time is fixed and the boys/groom's party are invited to come see the girl.
This is a beautiful function with all the ladies and men decked up in colorful fine clothes and jewellery.
The Bride is to be dressed in finery with her hair plaited with flowers and with the jewels for the head and Jewelry and Bangles and a fine zari saree. The green glass bangles should not be removed. Wear the matching bangles over the green bangles.
Select a proper place and put a plank MANE/PHAT which is covered with decorative cloth.
After all the ladies and guests have gathered , bring the Bride and make her sit. With her must sit her sister or someone close just behind her, in case she needs something.
At this point the mother of the Bride groom will come and sit on the right side of the bride, facing her.
She will then instruct the bride to do Ganesh puja.
After the puja, she will apply Haldhi kunku to the bride and give her two saris. One saree to wear and the other one to cover her shoulders.
At this point, the bride has to wear the sari and come back and sit on the mane.
The mother of the groom will then symbolically apply Haldhi Kunku, put some flowers in her hair, and may give her a Jewel, as the case may be.
Some cosmetics which is called Alankarach Saaman is also given along with personal gifts like jewelry and perfumes.
Usually trays with fruits, coconuts, decorated dolls, sugar moulds. dry coconut on which designs have been carved etc are also given.
In fact, all the ladies from the grooms party will each hold a tray of fruits, dry fruits, sakkare acchu, decorative dolls and artistic things and bring them ceremoniously to the bride.
Finally, the groom's mother will put milk and banana in the bride's palm three times and she will drink it. After which the ceremony is over the bride goes inside.
VAK NISCHAYA (ENGAGEMENT)
For this both the parents of the groom and the bride are made to sit beside, each othe.
The Purohith keeps two Kalashs in front of them and reciting Mantras, he will make both the parents perform puja to the kalash.
Then the priest will read the already prepared agreement between the two parents, which will be signed by the fathers. (This agreement will give details of the the family like grand son/grand daughter of so and so, son/daughter of so and so have agreed for this marriage on this date etc)
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JHANVASA
Jhanvasa is another clorful grand function where all are decked up.
Here, the groom is made to sit on a decorated Jamkhana or mat.
The bride's parents will also sit beside him and Ganesh Puja is performed.
Then the bride's mother will apply Kunku on the groom and the bride's father will apply Gandh( Sandal paste) on him and present him with Clothes , Wrist watch and whatever gift the wish to give the groom.
The Boy wears the new clothes and comes back to sit. He is then garlanded and given some sugar moulds, decorated dry coconut,fruits and coconut will be presented. The girls mother will put milk and banana in the palm of the groom which he has to drink three times. Some years ago the boy used to be taken in procession to a nearby Temple, (this custom may be in olden days, The places being small , and every one knew the other will enable the people to see the groom. (This is purely my guess!)
Jhnavasach Jhevna
After all this is the Jhnavasach Jhevna. A ceremonial dinner for the groom.
In a specified place five Plantain leaves are spread and a silver plate is placed. Around the front portion of the leaves, an elaborate rangoli is drawn with colours. Candles or lights decorate the surroundings of the 5 plantain leaves. A Sami ( Tall silver lamps) are placed on either side of the leaf.
Silver cups and Silver plate is kept on the leaves. And festive food is served in these.
In addition to the Festival food , five kinds of sweets like Chiroti, Semia Pheni, Sweet Somasa, Poli, and Laddu will be served and Semia Kheer. Before the boy starts to eat the Mother of the bride will serve the ghee. and at the end instead of curds, milk and sugar will be served. Before the boy gets up after eating, Arathi will be taken.
With this function the first day celebrations are over.
After all the evening functions and dinner is over the GARSOLI ----MANGALASUTRA has to be got ready. Use TWINE ONLY . Take about 18 inches twine and dye it yellow with Haldhi and water.
Sread the Black beeads on a plate and arrange the Bottu and the gold beeads as it is wanted to be woven on the twine, select the black beads which have holes in which the twine can be woven. (this has to be kept in mind while buying the Beads.)
Five elderly SAvashnis --Sumangalis are called the Bottu and the gold beads are woven then the mother of the girl and the boy string five beads each then the other ladies five each this is done for both the MANGALYAS and kept for the next days function. All the ladies should be given Kunku after the they have finshed.